I eat buttons for breakfast

Mila Kunis in Nylon December 2010

2010-11-29T02:11:00.000-08:00

Numero China eh?

2010-11-29T02:08:00.000-08:00

A beautiful shoot featuring Balenciaga, Miu Miu, Prada and Lanvin with Australian model Catherine McNeil shot by Anthony Maule for Numero China December 2010. Courtesy of Fashion Gone Rogue

Collegiate Hippy: Topshop Picks

2010-11-29T01:46:00.001-08:00

The word hippie used to strike fear into my heart. Just because I live on the West Coast doesn't mean I make my own granola okay? I have flirted with the idea of Birkenstocks before, even buying a pair one day after work while I was weak with hunger. Such are the dangers of low carbing. Collegiate hippie is more about balancing casual elements like tartan and rugged hiking boots with a draped flowy skirt and throwing some preppy pieces in the mix. Pair a simple black dress with a tartan cross-body bag and 70s style tweed jacket.

Mmm burger bed

2010-11-07T22:07:00.000-08:00

In fashion, home decor and accessories, I always wish I was attracted to sleek, minimalist things. A simple leather biker jacket, a long grey cashmere cardigan, a simple bed with clean lines that looks both modern and streamlined. Unfortunately I am not this person. I naturally gravitate towards loud prints, bright colours, stripes, polka dots, peter pan collars and things that most people would find nauseatingly cutesy. Empire waists, donut shaped change purse and patent black Mary Janes? Yes please! Mature clothing to suit my age? Oh no I couldn't possibly.

So when I saw this burger bed, my first thought wasn't "Oh how childish and juvenile!". I wanted to get inside this bed and make it my own. I want to rest my head on those lettuce leaf pillows and be warmed by the toasted sesame bun comforter. I am positive that I would get tired of having such a bed in my main bedroom area but maybe in the guest room?

"Oh yes, put her things in the burger room please - I do hope someone had the decency to air out the padded cheese layer."

Erin Wasson is derelicte

2010-11-07T19:37:00.000-08:00

One of my favourite quotes from Erin Wasson:
"When I go down to Venice Beach and I see the homeless, like, I'm like 'Oh my God, they're pulling out, like, crazy looks and they, like, pulled shit out of like garbage cans.'"

Here is Erin exuding the cool and sexy disheveled vibe she does so welll . Who hasn't always wanted a pair of crotchless jeans?

Jalouse Magazine - November 2010

Photographer: Mason Poole

Stylist: Jennifer Eymere

Courtesy of FashionGoneRogue.com

The perfect chunky Mary Janes

2010-11-03T02:20:00.000-07:00

I love these shoes! They are the perfect chunky black heeled Mary Jane style shoes from the new Fall 2010 Chie Mihara. I can see myself stomping around in these in an array of different colored and textured tights. But definitely not with those weird grey ribbed tights in this picture. Hmmm. Which reminds me that I still have a huge box of tights in my friend's shed in London. Oops.

Yes, blueberries make you fat

2010-10-26T22:06:00.000-07:00

A quick nip into the local Tim Horton's donut shop and I saw this delectable thing in the window. It does look a bit gross. The sugar crystals assault my tooth enamel even from afar. But I must go back to sink my teeth into this ASAP. It's called the Blueberry Bloom and it's filled with blueberry filling (duh) and topped with blueberry sprinkles.Potentially foul but look how pretty......also it's limited edition so sharpen your teeth.

Madewell has arrived in Seattle

2010-10-26T21:55:00.000-07:00

I had no idea there was a Madewell store that had recently opened in Seattle until my friend B told me she wanted to go. Apparently a sister store to J.Crew, I'm interested in seeing Alexa Chung's collection that she did for Madewell in person. Could a non-beanpole wear designs of Alexa Chung without straining the seams to bursting? A glance at the denim hotpants and noodle leg skinny jeans says no. But a quick perusal online unearths the following desirables:

Sketchbook tee dress, $58

Tennessee velvet dress, $168. This is SOLD OUT. Would have been perfect for the Wednesday Addams section of my closet. Sob sob.

Annie blouse, $128 - adorable tucked into a high waisted denim skirt or with black leggings and biker boots.

Lydia Coat, $295

Tabby Chic

2010-10-25T02:10:00.000-07:00

Alana Zimmer for Vogue Spain. Notice the attractive tabby cat strolling in the photo.

Stylehopper is launching soon in Canada! Wheee!

2010-10-14T01:02:00.000-07:00

Finally Canada gets a new private sale luxury e-boutique - Stylehopper! With brands like Frye boots, Joe Jeans, Paige Premium Denim, Earnest Sewn and Stella McCartney - finally we don't have to beg American websites to ship to us for an exorbitant fee. Hurrah! First sale due to land on November 1st, 2010 and signing up is FREE. Stay tuned for more info! I only wish we had this when I was a crazed shopaholic in my early twenties. The moderation and restraint of my fading youth is so boring.

A cat head shaped hole in my wardrobe

2010-10-14T00:50:00.000-07:00

I was innocently compiling an edit of best scarves for a teen fashion website when I stumbled upon this furry cat hat on ModCloth.com. For anyone not familiar with this website, it's a very cute shopping site that stocks clothing, accessories and homeware for the "vintage hipster". It's where to go if you're searching for a poufy circle skirt and also black rimmed eyeglasses and a slightly obnoxious sofa cushion shaped like a cupcake. You know what I mean. For $68.99 this glorious "Cat in the Hood" hat can be all mine. Unfortunately it's OUT OF STOCK. That's right. Enough people own this hat to make it completely sell out on the website. I don't do this often on the blog but LOL.

The description claims that "if you want to have fun and look good, all you have to do is put on this haute hood". If that doesn't reel you in then maybe the zebra-satin lining will? Nevertheless I have put my name down to be notified when it comes back into stock. I really am not sure where I would wear this but if winter this year is going to be as cold as reported by the local news channel, I will have no choice but to put this cat hat on for survival purposes. Yes. I have no choice.

Ahoy! J.Crew is actually cool.

2010-07-29T02:34:00.000-07:00

When I was a teenager J.Crew was the epitome of preppiness. It was pricey, country club attire that Muffy Von Beaverhausen wore to the yacht club. Creative Director Jenna Lyons has really breathed some new life into an American brand that didn't have much fashion cred before. On a recent visit I saw sequined shorts, boyfriend blazers and tribal printed scarves - stuff I would actually wear! Nowhere does this become more apparent than in J.Crew's new Fall 2010 Lookbook. Featuring Norwegian high fashion model Siri Tollerod, (who's been shot for everyone including I.D, Dazed and Confused and British Vogue), the entire lookbook makes me want to count down for winter. Where is the snowfall and frostbite??

There's an insightful article on Style.com about Jenna Lyons, who's been with the company for 20 years, about making a personal connection with her customer base. I love what she says when asked about designer collaborations with mass retailers (although I still wear my Alice Temperley for Target dress to interviews, pssssht).

"What do you think about top designers making “affordable” lines for mass retailers?
What I appreciate about it is someone like Rodarte or Proenza Schouler maybe gets more mindshare from people who might not have known who they are. But I think it’s a little flash-in-the-pan, and the quality, a lot of times, is really not great. That, to me, is for the young little fashion girl who’s obsessed with Proenza and Rodarte and who can’t afford it. For someone who just wants to look good on a day-to-day basis, it’s not a strategy for how to dress."

Back to the collection, there are some really unique pieces including black sequin harem-lite pants, sequin black shorts, a black slouchy leather jacket, a black oversized leather bag that is very YSL-esque, a tweed blazer in a modern shape and my personal favourite - a furry black vest! MUST HAVE ALL FUR AND FURRY LOOKING BY PRODUCTS.

And as usual, J Crew does not disappoint with their coat selection....behold some select images:

images via http://www.theglamazondiaries.com

Lazy Oaf

2010-07-18T23:52:00.000-07:00

I discovered this website when I came into work one morning and spotted the online editor of Sugar Magazine at the time, Alex Z, wearing the most adorable sweatshirt. It was medium heather grey, had a drawing of the eiffel tower on it and just said J'AIME PARIS. I know stuff like this can be annoying but trust me, this was on the right side of cute. Alex had ordered it from Lazyoaf.co.uk - a website that is mainly aimed towards teens but actually has some things that are cute and that I'd be seen in public wearing. I went to buy the t-shirt version of the sweatshirt and got complimented on it by loads of people (HONEST!). Unfortunately a trip to Busaba Eathai (the best Thai calamari in London) caused me to ruin it by dropping food on it (as per usual). My J'AIME PARIS tshirt is no longer sold on the website or in their Carnaby Street store in central London but I found a few other things on there that might console me. Sob.

Pierot t-shirt

Honky Tonk t-shirt

Polka dot reversible oversized t-shirt

Designer Outlet badges.

I love HUGE ASS BOSS

www.lazyoaf.co.uk

Cobrasnake and Cadenet

2010-07-18T23:11:00.000-07:00

I heard about Mark Cobrasnake a couple of years ago from Emma Sells, Shopping Editor of Elle UK's website. His photos are famous for capturing scenes at parties which happen to have celebrities in them. An L.A. native, he is described on the LA Times blog as being the "definitive photographer of hipster culture worldwide". Also credited with helping Nylon Magazine's It girl Cory Kennedy her start, I wouldn't doubt that he just might be.

He's recently done a photoshoot with EXIT Magazine with Atlanta De Cadenet that reminds me of Coney Island, tour buses and the Fourth of July and the 70s. And it's styled by the girls from Wildfox Couture. What could be cooler really? Oh and the model is Amanda de Cadenet and John Taylor's daughter. She also looks eerily similar to Rachel Bilson. The celebrity gene pool is apparently quite limited.

For those of you not born in the 1990s, you may remember Amanda as being the former flame of Keanu Reeves. Party on Bill and Ted (you won't understand if you were born in 1995).

CREDITS:
Photos: Mark the Cobrasnake
Makeup: Amy Chance for Chanel at Celestine Agency
Hair: Christian Maro for Renee Furtere at Celestine Agency
Styling: Emily Faulstein and Kimberley Gordon, Wildfox couture
Model: Atlanta de Cadenet

Outtakes from the shoot - Source: The Cobrasnake

Book locket!

2010-07-18T22:42:00.000-07:00

I love this cute little book locket I found on Etsy. Combines my love of books and gold jewelry. Now to find a picture of my cat that's small enough to fit. Mwahahah. Kidding. Kind of.

Street Snaps I love

2010-07-18T22:20:00.000-07:00

Model Jessica Hart in studded converse

Source: warchildvintage

Source: calivintage

Source: Natalie Off Duty

Model Frida Gustavsson

Source: StockholmStreetStyle

Source: Garance Dore

Blooming Barrymore

2010-07-18T03:37:00.000-07:00

There is something just so adorable and likeable about Drew Barrymore. Her crazy coke habit at the age of 11 and rehab tales at age 13 only endeared her more to me. She's now in her mid-thirties and looks AMAZINGGGGG. It gives me hope that I'm not on a downward spiral to looking like an old leather bag. Drew is gorgeous in a really accessible way and not to be all preachy but she has a healthy body that doesn't look all creepily pre-teen and make me want to stop gnawing on that fried chicken thigh. Here's Drew looking hot on this month's August 2010 cover of ELLE Magazine (US edition). I'm going to read this tomorrow with a pot of potato salad.

Source: www.Elle.com

L'Oficiel Paris

2010-07-18T03:22:00.000-07:00

Beautiful cover of August 2010 L'Oficiel Paris with Alexa Chung.
1960s hair. Art Deco jewelry. Dreamy Lula-esque styling. Love it.

Vintaaageeee

2010-07-18T03:03:00.000-07:00

I have a love of all things old. I can't pass a junk shop/thrift store/vintage emporium without going in and rummaging. I found a most delightful wooden painted figurine of 6 cats sitting on a sofa in a junk shop in Hackney, East London. On that same trip I also found an old makeup box covered with Care Bears! Who wouldn't snap up those two items on sight?? I know, that's what I thought. (pictures to follow)

As much as I love to admire the beautiful Chloe Paraty snakeskin bag on display at Selfridges, admire the Miu Miu Bow Bag and softly stroke (before security comes) the Mulberry Alexa bag - I love my collection of vintage bags more than anything. Mostly found in thrift stores, vintage shops and in my grandma's basement (a few were also unearthed during an intense Ebay vintage buying frenzy in 2007) - they add the finishing touches to my old granny chic outfits and nothing complements floral tea dresses quite like an old weather-beaten vintage bag. If I don't get mistaken for a 70-year-old woman from the back then I've done wrong in dressing myself that day.

A few vintage bags I currently covet:

Fendi 1980s striped handbag

And because this reminds me of a purse my mom carried in the 1990s

Hebe Hebe by Celia vintage leather drawstring satchel bag

TOPSHOP

2010-07-15T02:20:00.000-07:00

Topshop delivers everywhere now. Love. But not as much as I love the faux fur leopard coat below. IT WILL BE MINE.

Black Denim Playsuit $70

Addison Wedge Ankle Boots $160

Panel skirt by Mark Fast $160

Sailor Dress by Annie Greenabelle $112

Leopard vintage faux fur coat $190

Claire Pettibone

2010-07-14T02:29:00.000-07:00

This wedding dress reminds me of Jane Austen - tea in the parlour sir?

Summer in the Hamptons

2010-07-14T01:48:00.000-07:00

PHOTOS BY The Sartorialist, SCOTT SCHUMAN
FOR ITALIAN VOGUE PELLE

I love the simplicity of this summer shoot in the Hamptons. According to the Sartorialist blog - it was shot on location on a low budget at a hotel and the props were borrowed from a neighbour. Makes me want to go to the Hamptons and sip iced tea on a porch.

In need of a holiday

2010-07-14T01:28:00.001-07:00

Just buying some groceries dahling....

2010-07-13T20:02:00.000-07:00

I can see how this outfit is a great way to blend in at the local Safeway/Tesco. Huge shades and an unassuming tropical coloured skirt and blouse combo are so low-key.

The Olsens have convinced me to try wearing long skirts and maxi dresses. They're only 5'1" and really pull it off. But they are both stick thin. After doing some calculations - since I am three inches taller and weigh a small child more than both of them combined - this means I need to lose about 40 pounds to look as good as them in long dresses. Never mind.

Vice Magazine : Sweater Meat

2010-07-13T19:12:00.000-07:00

Leave it to Vice Magazine to make a sweater shoot look like soft-core porn....
Naturally.

PHOTOS BY STACY MARKS, STYLING BY JACLYN HODES
MODEL: DANA THOMPSON FROM MC2

How to Trick People into thinking you're goodlooking

2010-07-13T18:57:00.000-07:00

This youtube video is hilarious - about how to become a human optical illusion. MEGA LOLZ

Credit goes to Hansel for finding it.

This might get me off my ass

2010-07-13T17:50:00.000-07:00

If I owned it would I zip around town with a new energetic persona? Would I visit the farmer's market every Sunday and bike home laden with cheese, baguettes and cured meats in my little basket? Doubtful. But how adorable is this bike? The Electra Amsterdam Original in Sea Foam. I might even ride it to go fetch bubble tea.

OWL SOLD OUT

2010-07-13T17:30:00.000-07:00

I had to have this Leafy Owl Necklace when I spotted it at Forever21. It was only $5.80 and the owl is big enough to be spotted from half a block away. Groovy.

I've also always loved these owly cushions my friend Jennifer Urwin (Paperfairie on Etsy) makes. How adorable! I only wish I could hang one around my neck for impromptu naps.

FANGTASTIC

2010-07-09T18:42:00.000-07:00

Some may argue that I am too old to be sporting vampire fang necklaces but I am going to proudly wear this to see Eclipse AGAIN. I never pretended to be cool.

Disclaimer: This was a gift from my husband. No, we are not teenagers living in Alabama.
You can purchase your own necklace from www.CBTsCloset.com

Sonia Rykiel Lurve

2010-07-02T22:21:00.000-07:00

I love Sonia Rykiel, I really do. Her collections are fun, quirky, interesting and always cheerful and bursting with colour. However sometimes it's a bit too much, a bit too frou frou if you know what I mean? I waited with bated breath for her H&M collection to come out and even after seeing all the preview pictures, I was a bit disappointed with the collection in real life. But seeing the Sonia Rykiel Resort 2011 collection has re-instilled my love for her. The tiny straw hats add the perfect vintage touch and make me want to row a canoe and have a picnic, the change for the ice cream truck will be carried in my little cross body bag. I would wear the pink jumpsuit of course. Then for evening I would change into the white dress with black belt and red hat and lipstick. Toodles dahling.....

My winter look

2010-07-02T22:12:00.000-07:00

I love summer. I really do. But a part of me is excited to get my furrrrrrs on and put on the black opaque tights and dresses. Yessss

Raiding the Rack

2010-07-02T22:00:00.000-07:00

I've always been really picky with wallets. It had to be the right shade of vintage brown, it couldn't look too NEW. I didn't like obvious stitching. It had to have loads of room for all of my loyalty cards as I wouldn't want to look like a schmuck and be without my bubble tea punch card the day I am due for a free one would I? I started carrying around just a tiny Marc by Marc Jacobs pouch that was constantly stuffed with cards, receipts and candy. I love it but when I got pulled over for speeding it took me a full 3 minutes to shuffle around the cards and then empty my purse before I found my driver's licence with the cop's death stare through the driver's side window. Eek.

Rifling through the accessories at Nordstrom Rack, my friend B showed me the most adorable little brightly coloured wallets that somehow managed to be both compact, practical and hold a lot without looking overly bulky. The brand is Lodis,they are all soft nappa leather and look how cute! They normally cost between $50 and $100 regular priced at Nordstrom but if you have a look at Nordstrom Rack, you can find them for as little as $15. I bought one for myself in red and a black Audrey credit card case for my sister.

They also make a range of other products (including business card cases, phone cases, etc) including this red leather laptop bag that I covet:

Cher Horowitz made me love knee socks

2010-07-02T21:30:00.000-07:00

Clueless was one of my favourite movies in high school. I still can't believe that this movie was released 15 years ago! Am I really that much of a relic? It's still one of the best teen movies and one of those movies where you love watching all the outfit changes, thanks to Mona May, a costume designer who has also worked on Enchanted, The House Bunny (this was actually funny!), Never Been Kissed, The Wedding Singer and Romy and Michele's High School Reunion ("I'll have the businesswoman's special. I invented the post-it note!").

I laughed, I cried, I coveted the clothes and Alicia Silverstone's hair. I even loved that Amy Heckerling loosely based it on Jane Austen's novel, Emma. Jane Austen was another obsession in high school as I would constantly fantasize about living in Victorian England and wearing petticoats. Imagine being so demure and ladylike that proper decorum required gentlemen callers to drop in and visit you in your formal parlour, with your mother lurking of course. Oh to be courted! Now it's just a blur of fizzy drinks, $20 on the nightstand and a text (if you're lucky). I kid I kid. Usually cash is not exchanged.

Cher Horowitz's wardrobe really encapsulated the best of 90s fashion. It bypassed the gross grunge phase (EW as Cher would say) and went all out feminine with short dresses, plaid skirts, argyle sweater vests, knee socks, headbands and baby tees. She even wears a red Azzedine Alaia dress when she gets mugged in the Valley. What's not to love? She's like a a pre-SATC high school Carrie Bradshaw without all the selfish whining about Manolo Blahniks and men. It had everything my high school self wanted in a movie - including an amazing makeover scene. I LOWE IT!

Karaoke. It's so hot right now

2010-06-26T00:17:00.001-07:00

Balloons all up in here

2010-06-23T02:46:00.000-07:00

I have always loved editorials involving balloons. But please no clowns! Ellen Von Unwerth's "Pure Wonder" editorial in Vogue Italia, June 2007, styled by Victoria Adcock is one of my favourite fashion editorials of all time. Joyful.

Veggie hipsters

2010-06-23T02:31:00.001-07:00

This teeshirt I spotted at Urban Outfitters makes me feel guilt for enjoying my breakfast. Is this how hipsters become vegetarians?

Hello Kitty Forever

2010-06-23T02:26:00.000-07:00

Why do all Asians seem to flock to Hello Kitty? I have no idea. But I love her. I covet the Hello Kitty toaster that burns her little face onto every slice of toast. Does this mean I can only spread translucent condiments on my toast? A small sacrifice my friend.

Someone who shall remain unnamed (cough cough) has suggested we get matching Hello Kitty tattoos. I fear this is a joke designed to prey on my Asian love for the Kitty and I will get one and they will not as a practical joke. Then I will always be the girl with the HELLO KITTY TATTOO on her arm, forced to attend job interviews in the blazing heat of summer wearing long sleeve shirts.

Irrational WANT

2010-06-23T02:17:00.000-07:00

I never wear heels anymore. Somewhere between tramping all over London, being rained on constantly and the slippery slide of the underground floor (and threat of being trampled if one should take a spill), the lack of a car and an umbrella that doesn't flip inside out and try to attack me during rainstorms - I've taken to the comfort of flats with the gusto of an 80 year old woman. I have a varied collection of flat knee high boots, loafers, lace up oxfords and ballet flats. I've worn heels less than 10 times in the past year. Not even Fashion Week could convince me to traipse around in heels everyday. And when I did wear them I bitched and complained about the pain until I took them off. Yes how very annoying. Which is why I have been harbouring desire for what I know to be a completely inappropriate pair of shoes. These Topshop Prima Sling Clogs. The heels are completely wooden and measure five inches. Last time I wore wooden heels like this I took a nasty spill in front of a Nando's chicken restaurant. Not elegant.

hansel

2010-06-23T01:53:00.000-07:00

I love that someone out there has named their clothing line after their dog. I know that it's commonly accepted that dogs are like children to many people (being a staunch supporter of the cat lifestyle, I really can't comment) but in the world of fashion, where everyone seems just TOO cool, can anyone really see Alexander Wang saying "My SS10 line was inspired by my pet hamster?". I didn't think so.

hansel is a womenswear clothing label designed and owned by Singaporean Jo Soh. On the hansel blog, she mentions proudly that the line was named after her "beloved Jack Russell Terrier". Bless. The line was brought to my attention by my husband, who used to work with fashion labels. His name is also Hansel (unlike Jo Soh's Jack Russel terrier, he chooses to capitalize his name, how archaic!) and the line was pointed out to him by a Singaporean colleague.

Taking a closer look at the clothing, I noticed two things. I love the hansel blog! And the clothes are actually very cute and I could definitely see myself sporting something from the SS10 Paperdoll collection.

Behold:

Triple bow boat neck dress

Bustier tie dress

And inspired by "old-fashioned paper dolls", this adorable Paperdoll knit dress. Very Wednesday Adams.

Inside the paper dolly shop!

There is even a hansel pop up shop in Tokyo! It looks like this will be another clothing line that will only fuel my love for the Peter Pan collar and bows. Some people may debate that this is not a good thing for someone well out of their teens years. Sob.

www.ilovehansel.com

http://thehanselblog.blogspot.com

CALLA me pretty

2010-06-15T00:13:00.000-07:00

I've always had a special love reserved for Paris. The first time I went there I had no money, stayed at a flea ridden hosel and could only afford street crepes and baguettes and cheese. Oh it was joyous (bed made me itchy though - eugh hostels). And no one does effortless style like French women. Londoners have amazing style but there is something so effortless about French style.

CALLA is a line designed by Paris-based textile designer and former model Calla Haynes. She cut her teeth designing textiles for the likes of Alexander Wang (no he ain't my cousin) and Jeremy Laing. It's a kind of pretty and feminine vintage inspired construction that doesn't scream frou frou or overly twee. Luxe fabrics, beautiful construction and textile design. Very French OUI OUI. A shame I threw a tantrum and was withdrawn from French school as a child.

Some of my favourite looks from the Fall 2010 Collection:

And from the Spring 2010 Collection:

www.calla.fr

Jumpsuits: Stop looking at my camel toe please

2010-06-13T22:47:00.000-07:00

There is something about a romper/playsuit/jumpsuit that I cannot resist. It makes going to the washroom take three times as long, it's difficult to find a flattering one (which never stops me) and put the wrong romper on and you look like an overgrown woman who's stuck in second grade. Add pigtails and your humiliation is complete. Even knowing all of this I still covet the following:

Marc by Marc Jacobs Dashiki stripe jumpsuit

How delightful! How obnoxious is this print! I love it.

Stella McCartney Cashmere + Silk Blend jumpsuit

Oh how luxurious. I would wear this everywhere LITERALLY.

Elizabeth & James Suzette Silk-Jersey playsuit

This one reminds me of Bianca Jagger. Sigh.

A.P.C. Cotton and Linen jumpsuit

Too adorable. I challenge anyone to tell me this isn't both versatile and CUTE AS HELL.

Miss Selfridge Dotty Knot jumpsuit

A less expensive option but you still get the same effect. JUMPSUIT FRENZY

Miss Selfridge Hawaiian Jumpsuit

Some would call this a jumpsuit that causes epileptic fits. I call it Muffy's lunch buffet outfit.

Urban Outfitters Pins and Needles Piped Sailor Romper

This is a ridiculous sailor outfit/romper. Who would sail the high seas in a onesie? I probably would. THIS IS PERFECT.

Topshop Parrot Print Playsuit

Hot date? I probably wouldn't recommend wearing this.

American Apparel chambray jumpsuit

I've tried this on twice and it doesn't look revolting on me. HONEST!

Portobello West Market

2010-06-13T22:12:00.001-07:00

The next Portobello West Market is very near. I've been wanting to go to this every time I'm in Vancouver but something always came up (I'm lazy). It's inspired by European markets like Portobello Market in London (oh how I love this market, where else can I find such adorable vintage doorknobs?) and of course the famous Parisian flea market, Porte de Clignancourt (Les Puces). Vancouverites should definitely check it out - the next one is this month on June 27th. Vancouverites should take not that it's on every month from March to December and there better be snacks available! That being said, I've also been meaning to go to the real Portobello Market but sadly my love for vintage teaspoons doesn't always get me out of bed on a Saturday morning.

Portobello West fashion and art market

Rocky Mountaineer Station

12pm-6pm

$2 admission (children 12 and under get in free cuz they ain't got no money to spend)

http://www.portobellowest.com

CIRQUE DE FACE

2010-06-13T21:38:00.000-07:00

I used to obsess over makeup. To the point where I owned a professional train case filled to the brim with products. Friends would come over and marvel at my collection. It looked like the collection of a professional makeup artist. Does anyone ever need more than 50 different blushes? Does a cat have furry ears? HOW DARE THEY QUESTION ME. The day all of my lipglosses went bad and smelled more toxic than a Chinese food dumpster was a sad one. I often heard the question - how can one person apply so much lipgloss? The point was never to apply it all (I did realize I only had one set of lips and sadly only one face), the point was to collect and hoard like a crazy bag lady. One day I finally lost interest in the pursuit of acquiring more makeup and it all was given away. What a waste. I still have an archive of almost every single Stila limited edition palette in storage. Even the threat of an eye infection won't stop me from sometimes dabbling in my decade old eyeshadow palette. Oh the memories! Oh the bacterial infections! But a vintage smoky eye will be worth it.

The point of my ramblings is that I have had a cosmetic revelation. Last weekend I went to Nordstrom in downtown Seattle and had a makeup epiphany. My friend was looking for a red lipstick so we sat down at Giorgio Armani and met the most amazing makeup artist named Emily Oliver. She let us play with different lipsticks and applied blush and foundation on us. I don't know why I never discovered this brand before. They have different patents on their foundations and blush and I can see why. The Face Fabric Radiance Foundation blends so well it almost disappears as soon as it hits the skin. The Blushing Fabric Blush looked natural no matter how much I applied. It's a really nice creamy gel texture - I purchased the #1 colour. It was the most perfect pinkish peach shade. And the Sheer Lipstick was a perfect berry pink (I bought Sheer 31) and was so smooth in texture I was tempted to spread it on my bagel. Mmmmm. I'm a convert. I got sample of everything and bought the lipstick and blush.Sometimes I want to just touch the foundation it's so nice and wear it in my sleep it's that good. I want more more more. Too bad it's so expensive in Canada. This country is such a buzzkill.

GIORGIO ARMANI you blend like a dream!!! I miss my days of working on beauty stories at a magazine. We used to get loads of Armani makeup in and I never really realized how incredible it is. Not so incredible is an orange Giorgio Armani in a speedo. Who knew this man could produce such perfect makeup.

I surf in "business casual"

2010-04-06T23:44:00.000-07:00

What is going on here? Riding the waves in a Chanel two-piece tweed suit and kitten heels is ridiculous even for my warped ideals of appropriate dress. I can't even imagine being seen at the beach in that get up much less CARRYING A SURF BOARD.

On the other hand, I kind of love this Chanel bike with the quilted purse attached for $17,000. I would fill it with little tins of caviar and feed it to myself at traffic lights using a tiny spoon carved out of white gold.

Rainy Day Cheer

2010-04-01T16:56:00.000-07:00

Bleak weather = BRIGHT PINK LIPSTICK

2010-04-01T16:37:00.000-07:00

When the weather is grey, rainy or is just so depressing I am ALMOST driven to listen to Coldplay, I like to break out my bright pink lipstick for a little superficial cheer. I discovered MAC Girl About Town lipstick after helping out my friend Abi backstage at a charity fashion show she was organizing.

All the models wore black headbands (like the one below on January Jones) and had this amazing bright deep fuschia lipstick on that my friend Jemima and I became obsessed with.She went out to buy it soon after (and also uses it as a blush) but it took awhile for me to ditch my sheer rose tinted lipglosses for bold lip colour. Now I swipe this on without even thinking about it. It's a bit much for dressed down west-coast style Vancouver but if I cared about looking silly I wouldn't dress like an old lady. Hah.

Glue Gun Rampage

2010-04-01T15:44:00.000-07:00

Apart from two years of sewing class in high school where I made some ill-advised palazzo pants, a skirt that unravelled on its first outing and an asymmetrical pair of flannel cat pyjamas, my foray into fashion design has been rather unsuccessful.

The itch to make stuff continued and slowly filtered into making my own headbands, changing buttons and detailing on vintage finds (particularly coats and cardigans) and plain t-shirts and general glue-gun abuse.

For the crafty among us, or those who just want to try their hand at making their own clothing and accessories without investing in the requisite sewing machine, Vancouver is getting its very own sewing lounge this spring called Spool of Thread.

Both a retail store and a studio space to make your own clothing – there will be sewing machines that you can pay-by-the-hour to rent during store hours along with large cutting tables, irons, dress forms and other sewing accessories. There will also be sewing workshops and classes with instruction from expert sewers and crafters.

The idea is a similar one to a very popular concept that I go to in London called The Make Lounge, which offered contemporary crafts workshops for groups where you can learn how to do stuff like crochet amigurumi toys, make your own A-line skirt to take home or embellish your own underwear.

I know all this DIY self can sometimes go awry and no one wants to look like they're wearing something they fished out of the bin and glue-gunned some lace onto. You don't have to be an expert, I can attest to the fact that all you need is an idea and some guidance and before you know it you may even be tempted to open up your own Etsy.com online shop to peddle your wares. It's a lot easier than it sounds and reminds me of those glorious DIY projects I used to do when I read Teen Vogue and I once made a t-shirt out of a pillowcase and went on a date in it (true story) much like in this video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypqNfk__qc8

Teen Vogue actually have some really easy ideas on how to embellish and add things onto plain clothing yourself, like this article on how designer Brian Reyes embellished a plain white t-shirt with some simple gold washers (you can buy at any hardware store) and a glue gun.

A few good shops to purchase DIY fashion and sewing supplies:

Button Button ( a little shop in Gastown at 318 Homer St. that sells buttons from all over the world, buttons you never thought you'd even need!) and Dressew Supply Ltd on 337 Hastings Street West – wall to wall zippers/buttons/notions/lace/ribbons etc!

Got Craft? Is also holding a spring indie craft fair with over 55 local and handmade vendors. It's on Sunday May 10^th from 10am-5pm at the Royal Canadian Legion 2205 Commercial Drive.

You'll be sporting your own handmade lace bolero in no time. However, I would advise not wearing pillowcase shirts on dates.

Opening Spring 2010:

Spool of Thread

101-649 E. 15^th Avenue (At Fraser)

Vancouver, BC

V5T 2R6

http://www.spoolofthread.com

Complicated braids are all the rage. If only I had an assistant

2010-03-29T01:10:00.000-07:00

How does one braid their own hair to make it look like this? Must everything I want to achieve require 4 arms that radiate from my back like tentacles?

These look more manageable but impossible to achieve unless you have a horse's mane of hair.

The Miu Miu braid

Alexander Wang side braid. More more more

Olsen braid. How is she not requiring an elastic band? I assume this look requires not showering for a few days to get the hair all grubby. How very fashion.

I never could figure out how to do the wraparound head braid. All of these images are making me feel like I really need a weave.

Chloe shoes are finally half-off

2010-03-24T18:23:00.000-07:00

These Chloe shoes caught my eye months ago on Net-a-porter.com and now they're half price on the Outnet - from $600 to $300.

But the heels are 4.5inches and there is no sign of any kind of platform. These might finish me off and lead to my final tumble down a sewer. Oh and I don't HAVE $300 for shoes anyway. Hmph.

Because this tickles me greatly

2010-03-19T15:44:00.001-07:00

Ankle snapz?

2010-03-19T15:39:00.000-07:00

I wear flats everyday. I don't wear massive Nike trainers or orthopedic shoes but I find it really hard to wear heels all day. Then at night I sometimes wear them and fall into a grate (thankfully not into a sewer yet) or down a flight of stairs. Or just randomly on the street without any notice. I rotate flat boots, ballet flats, loafers, brogues and jazz shoes. And SOMETIMES I wear wedges but it is a precarious business.

I will, however, make an exception for these luscious shoes from the MIU MIU SS10 collection. I love them so much I am going to scour the sales in June for my size just so I can add them to my other Miu Miu shoes which I have never worn because they are too high. Sigh. I just want to hold them. Pathetic? Yes. I have never pretended to be cool.

I will be making a visit to London very soon and purrrhaps they will be on sale at Selfridges?

Maybe I will just put them on my back and wear them like they are a small child. Ideas are forming and I like them.

Pillaging of Goodwill

2010-03-11T15:26:00.000-08:00

Have just returned from a glorious week away pillaging thrift stores down the coast of Seattle and Portland. My friend Paul has always gone on and on about how amazing the Goodwill stores in Seattle are (equivalent of The Salvation Army in Canada). I remained a tad skeptical as I regularly wade through local thrifts shops in Vancouver and find it hard to unearth items I actually love. Pilly sweaters and musky smelling polyester dresses seem to permeate the fabric of Vancouver thrifting.

My camera is sadly broken but once I post the pictures of what I bought ...... OH BOY.

The best part is that everything was $10 USD and under. Very different than the ones in London which charge at least 20-50 GBP sterling for similar items (musky smell included, hmmm).

I tried not to react as I entered the large Bellevue, WA Goodwill located just outside of Seattle. We also hit one in Portland, OR. It was packed full of people and right away I spotted a fur jacket I pounced on immediately. Sadly it was the wrong size but I went on to purchase the following:

-buttery soft leather tan saddlebag (vintage COACH!) for $10
-black leather vintage handbag with gold clasp $5.99
-black leather mini-doctor's bag with brown strap and detailing (AR said this was heinous but I BEG TO DIFFER) $5.99
-autumn colours floral skirt (the kind you find at vintage shops and Urban Outfitters) $3.99
-black lace-up flat shoes with suede detailing $6.99
-black chunky knit cardigan with colourful pattern (will wear this with a black fitted t-shirt dress) $4.99
-cream coloured fitted jacket with lace detailing $5.99 (probably my favourite purchase)
-navy scarf with little red flowers $1.99

AR purchased:
-brown herringbone blazer (made in Italy) $9.99
-black leather lace-up shoes in perfect condition $7.99
-red houndstooth scarf $2.99

OMG. I have been strongly advised to hit the large downtown Seattle Goodwill next time I drive down there.

I love nothing more than a bargain and to own clothes that aren't readily available at every shopping mall. I do love the thrill of the hunt........and yes I do have a predilection for GRANNY CHIC.

I exercised restraint by putting back a black and white houndstooth jacket that did resemble something Barbara Bush would have worn in her twilight years.

COVER LOVE

2010-03-05T03:23:00.000-08:00

Chloe Sevigny on the cover of ELLE UK April 2010 - in SS10 MIU MIU
What a beautiful cover - I loved the Miu Miu SS10 collection when it was on the runway last year but all of the editorials that have been out lately really make me covet every single piece. Including the chunky platforms covered in cat print. SIGH!

"Academy" shoot in W Magazine, September 2009

2010-03-02T14:04:00.001-08:00

Shot by Steven Klein

Styled by Camilla Nickerson

Model: Lara Stone

Philip Lim is fueling my unhealthy obsession

2010-03-01T23:58:00.000-08:00

Look at this joyfully embellished 3.1 Philip Lim bead-embellished hairband that just arrived at Net-A-Porter for a mere $145.

I would pair this with this Temperley sleeveless silk trapeze dress in the summer, $395

And this Alexander Wang Diego bucket leather bag, $825

And these Michael Kors Vachetta leather sandals, $595

And some Giles and Brother hook-fastening leather bracelets, $115

Grand total for this ensemble is $2,075. I am going to get my errand boy to order this for me. GARCON!

Bikram Yoga or How my lungs nearly collapsed in the 9th circle of hell

2010-03-01T23:07:00.000-08:00

I've been flirting with the idea of trying Bikram yoga (or "hot yoga") for a long time. The main thing that put me off is the heat. I have always loathed saunas. What is the point of sitting in a sauna? IT'S JUST TOO DAMN HOT IN THERE. I don't even like baths. And I overheat in seconds the one time I deigned to enter a hot tub. And I wasn't even on the set of Anchorman or The Bachelor. BOR-ING.

Lately though I've been feeling extremely unfit. Ok I feel fat. Like I should be in an aquarium at SeaWorld fat. A friend of mine in Vancouver swears by Bikram yoga and has been doing it for two years almost everyday. She has an amazingly toned and fit body so I was convinced to give it a try. She assured me that doing this regularly changes your body. I was just hoping to not cause a scene in a roomful of strangers. The memory of the time I took Disco Step Aerobics comes to mind. Eugh.

Upon arrival I see a long line of mostly very toned and fit people wearing very very little - just sports bras and tiny spandex shorts. Like this lady below:

The class is 90 minutes long and the room is heated to 37 degrees C so the less you wear the more comfortable you will be. I keep my yoga pants and tank top on for now. After I get in shape though the sequined hotpants are coming out. Mwahahaha.

The room is extremely bright and unbearably hot. I haven't even unrolled my yoga mat yet and I feel faint. My friend advises me to get a spot next to the glass door that leads outside. I do a feel a cool breeze wafting ever so gently from it. Bliss. I really hope I don't throw up in a pile on the carpet which some people end up doing.

I won't lie, it was hellish and uncomfortable. I hate sweating and it was literally dripping off of me and every single person in that room. I am also out of shape and painfully non-limber. I forced myself to go through all the poses and tried my best to not vomit, even though I had quite a few nauseous and dizzy spells. A few people just lay on their mats for awhile because they felt so dizzy. By the end I felt like passing out. I bought some delish coconut water at the front desk and death was averted. For now.

My friend advised me that I should go as often as possible to not lose momentum. I have to admit I felt amazing afterwards. But maybe that was just the relief of getting out of that horrendously hot room. I was sandwiched between three sweaty hairy men who did what looked like the "downward" dog inches away from my face.

When I got home I felt so good that I turned my nose up at the pot of delicious spaghetti, the box of maple cream cookies AND the bag of two-bite brownies. I ate an orange instead and felt smug. A shame there was no one around to witness.

I hope to go from this:

To this:

I have a set of passes so I will definitely be going back and will be monitoring my progress over the next two months. I have about seven to ten pounds to lose before I am no longer fit to be head-hunted for the SeaWorld aquarium.

Bikram Yoga College of India
Kitsilano
2681 West Broadway
Vancouver, BC Canada V6K 2G2
(t) 604 742 3830

BOO YOU WHORE

2010-03-01T16:52:00.000-08:00

I am not a hippie but nasty/mean people usually have it coming out of their pores and look even more unattractive to me. I like to call it "resting bitch face". Usually they scowl at you on first meeting. Or they are just rude. I wish people would remember that being a psycho hose beast is so very 1997. And well-adjusted men DO NOT love bitches.

It's a misconception that people who work in fashion are bitchy and difficult. Having worked with many different editors/stylists/photographers etc at magazines, they've been some of the loveliest and most interesting people I've met in London.

I'd like to dedicate this post to mean girls. I'm sorry you are always sour. And you smell like a baby prostitute.

For the love of flat shoes

2010-02-27T16:00:00.001-08:00

Alex and Anna

2010-02-27T13:14:00.000-08:00

Anna Wintour is laughing! With Alexander Wang! He sure makes ethnics proud.

Ten heads

2010-02-27T13:00:00.001-08:00

10 Magazine: Ten heads: Dolce & Gabbana's romance, published fall/winter 2009
Photographed by Jason Lloyd-Evans

Oscar Wilde

2010-02-27T12:39:00.001-08:00

Yes Alexander Wang, YES

2010-02-27T11:54:00.003-08:00

Alexander's FW10 Catwalk girls

ALEXANDER WANT AW10 SHOW ON STYLE.COM

The furs be flying

2010-02-27T11:53:00.000-08:00

Fur is frowned upon by most (not me). I remember watching my grandma get ready to go out, the finishing touch being a brownish black fur short jacket. It's a wonder she was never paint bombed by the roving packs of protesting environmentalists that populate this city.

Even on my walks around in the city in my one of my grandma's old faux fur coats (how very real it looks! the real one is locked away somewhere beyond my paws), I get frowns from people in their wool and waterproof rain jackets.

I love animals, really I do. I only recycle my grandma's fur and the ones I have bought myself are vintage.
It's not like I harvested hundreds of puppies for them. I promise my cat is in no danger of becoming a pair of earmuffs. But what greater honour after his death would be to become a beloved item of apparel in my wardrobe? I'm kidding. Kind of.

I adore being wrapped in furry, soft, warm goodness. Maybe I love animals so much, I want to LOOK like one? Scoff at me they will but NO ONE can ever resist petting me.

Ginta Lapina

Frida Gustavsson
\
Fur AND red lipstick

fashiontoast blogger

Abby Lee Kershaw

Diane Krueger

Speaking of headbands.........

2010-02-27T02:26:00.001-08:00

Backstage at Prada

A gratuitous Blair Waldorf headband post

2010-02-27T02:12:00.000-08:00

lWhy does she look so good in them while I look like a nitwit??

As someone who looks like an egghead in head bands, I sure do have a lot of them which I started to accumulate working as a fashion assistant well before the arrival of Blair Waldorf and Gossip Girl. At last count I had surpassed the double digit mark and reached an alarming 32. Not to mention the ones I have given away.

Orange patent, wide black patent, snake skin (no, really), bows in every colour, feathers, pearl and even an absolutely ridiculous custom-made navy stretch head band with a giant red plastic bow on it. Wearing this doesn't so much say adorable as it says "don't make any sudden movements, this girl is insane".

Such is my obsession and love of head bands that I recently bought a skinny black one with gold studs at Red Light Vintage in Seattle. I wore it around the house the next day but like the other 32, it has yet to see the light of day.

Coco Rocha.

2010-02-27T02:09:00.000-08:00

Used to be one of my favourite models. Still like her but I have moved on a bit. So fickle.

I never said this was an interesting post. But nevertheless, here she is.

Chanello!

2010-02-27T02:01:00.001-08:00

Alexa Chung in Chanel and Daisy Lowe in Miu Miu at fashion week. Proving once again that Daisy Lowe should put her funbags away - look how cute she looks in normal clothing! However on second glance there seems to be room for some potential "slippage". Woopsie.

Do I look like I need to WALK places? WHERE IS MY CAB

2010-02-27T01:52:00.000-08:00

Chanel clogs. How anyone can walk in toweringly high, BACKLESS wooden shoes and tights is beyond me. Maybe this isn't even a real person?? AN ALIEN who floats and doesn't need to take the subway.

Lara Stone Lara Stone

2010-02-27T01:47:00.001-08:00

Lara Stone really is amazingly sexy. Is that a lingerie playsuit?? Nevertheless it caught my eye. Onesies making the roundsies. This is from an editorial in March 2010 W Magazine.

Navy and stripes do not a sailor make

2010-02-27T01:43:00.000-08:00

I love this girl - nautical striped navy and white shirt, navy coat with gold buttons and orange lipstick. Oh and socks with lace-up brown oxfords. Sigh! The only place it isn't cool to go crazy nautical is on a cruise ship full of old people and children. As I discovered when I wore my striped top with a navy captain's jacket with gold buttons - being on a cruise is bad enough. But being mistaken for staff on the godforsaken boat of buffet nightmares is just undignified.

Miuccia Prada is a kindred spirit. Miaaaaoooow

2010-02-27T01:36:00.000-08:00

Her cat prints fill me with joy. I imagine her sitting in her Milan office scrolling through the I CAN HAZ CHEESBURGER LOLCATS website while doing her preliminary mood boards for Miu Miu SS10

Illustration by Kris Atomic blog.

The braid to top all braids

2010-02-27T01:18:00.000-08:00

Moments like these I wish I had thick luxurious hair in which to perform elaborate hairdos on. My fine hairs can sadly only handle one braid at a time. I would like some advice on getting a human hair weave. Tyra Banks where are you? I know she'd have some words of wisdom to share. GIRL YOU GOTTA BE FIERCE AND LET THAT HAIR FIND YOU. THE WEAVE WILL CHOOSE YOU. Um ok.

This editorial is from Vogue Paris Beaute.

Frida Gustavsson

2010-02-27T01:05:00.000-08:00

My favourite model of the moment. She looks good in every editorial, every show, even in street style shots. I know she's a model but she has that beautiful/cute combination that I think is rare.

Marc Jacobs THE WIRE

2010-02-27T00:59:00.000-08:00

Would love to do a shoot where model is doing contortion inside and around differently shaped wrought iron like below. Could tie it in with The Wire HBO program by having a gun in every shot. DARK!

Tim Walker love

2010-02-26T16:40:00.001-08:00

http://www.timwalkerphotography.com/ London-based photographer

Alexa Chung's collection for MADEWELL

2010-02-26T16:23:00.000-08:00

Love the "Hello Batman" shirt and the clogs. Usually celebrity designed collections can be a bit naff but I enjoy this greatly. Cute and simple without being overly girly.

Seeing red

2010-02-26T16:21:00.000-08:00

I've always admired women who could pull off the red lip. One of my former fashion directors wore it every single day and she always looked so polished. Every time I attempted I felt like an extra from the set of Memoirs of Geisha. I finally found a red that didn't make me think of concubines - MAC Brave Red. It's very red but PERFECT for warmer skintones. It's a cremesheen formulation so it's moderately moisturizing. Some of my favourite looks:

Miu Miu SS10 campaign with Lindsay Wixon. Shot by Mert & Marcus

2010-02-26T15:47:00.000-08:00

One of my favourite new fashion photographers - ZOEY GROSSMAN

2010-02-26T15:40:00.000-08:00

http://www.zoeygrossman.com/

Backstage Miu Miu SS10

2010-02-26T14:04:00.001-08:00

I wish I was this cute. But alas.

2010-02-26T14:02:00.001-08:00

http://dailybunny.org

Miu Miu SS10 cat prints

2010-02-26T13:51:00.000-08:00

Despite it being AW10 fashion week season I am still obsessed with the Miu Miu SS10 cat print collection. Those platform shoes. Those prints. This collection makes me happy. Illustration by http://blog.krisatomic.com

Eniko Mihalik + bobble cardigan

2010-02-26T13:45:00.000-08:00

I would love a bobble cardigan like this for next winter. And a giant cape to wear over it for those cold days where bobbles just can't keep you warm or dry.

Eniko Mihalik shot by James Macari

Making a spectacle of yourself

2010-02-26T13:35:00.001-08:00

I love people in funky glasses. If I didn't have 20/20 vision I would be as cool as this stuffed monkey. I am not hipster enough to wear non-prescription glasses unless there was no lens. OLD SCHOOL

Ugly sweater for some. Cute for meeee

2010-02-26T13:28:00.000-08:00

Vintage is not everyone's cup of tea. It's so easy to do a mis-step and look like a Victorian ghost or like an 89-year-old woman from the back (hmm intriguing). This sweater somehow manages to balance old-school weirdness with being totally wearable. I hope no one points and laughs when I wear this out to a pub or bar. I never said 'sexy' was my look.
http://www.deadlyvintagesweets.com

Coloured furs you say??

2010-02-26T13:23:00.001-08:00

The Alexander Wang studded bag, those buckle ankle boots. THAT GREEN FUR.
Love love love....

Kids are so honest.

2010-02-26T12:50:00.000-08:00

Some people are tacky AND mean. I like to have 8 year old boys fight my battles for me. GARCON!

Poison ivy head

2010-02-26T12:48:00.000-08:00

As soon as I crossed the Atlantic and landed on the west coast again my face went nuts. It was an inflamed poison ivy bush of itchiness and red cheeks. My old moisturizers seemed to make it worse. Trawling the streets of Vancouver, I first bought Avene cream for sensitive skin (which BURNED) and then Dermalogica Intensive Moisture Balance (not thick enough is my shrill response to the sales associate).

Desperate for relief, I finally smeared my entire face with Aquaphor ointment which is almost just like Vaseline. Check out that tub. It looks like the cream cows put on their udders for relief. That was the only thing that helped but using Vaseline as a night cream really can't end well. What's next? Lard as facial mask? Shoe polish as eyeshadow?

Only this cream saved me. L'Occitane Ultra Rich Face Cream with Shea Butter. It's part of the sensitive/soothing skin line. The lady at the shop said it was like smearing shea body butter onto my face and she wouldn't recommend it. It is so thick it was almost solid. WELL SHE WAS WRONG.

I don't think you're ready for this jelly

2010-02-26T12:12:00.000-08:00

I've never really let the size zero debates affect me. Well ok that is a lie, I thought about it but my body type never really gets stick thin unless I am stuck down a well with no food or drink (mmm peanut butter milkshakes with ice cream and bourbon lowered to me in a bucket). See I don't even need solid food to expand my shape. I am just happy when I fit into my current clothes. Busting buttons on items of clothing due to an ever expanding sausage McMuffin lifestyle is so unproductive.

Accepting that my nickname will NEVER be "skeletor whore" or "bag of bones", both very very flattering, I've gone the other way and have been searching for ways to enhance my "junk".

Next purchase - butt enhancing underwear from www.lovemybubbles.com AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT.

Yes those are silicone pads.

So soft. SO SOFT

2010-02-26T03:00:00.000-08:00

There is nothing like draping yourself with furs. I would wear a fur dress if it I wasn't threatened by paint throwing animal evangelists on the West Coast. Sigh.

Marni lust: could I?

2009-06-08T15:02:00.000-07:00

On second thought I don't think I could. I value my ankles too much.

Rein them in

2009-06-08T14:43:00.001-07:00

Ever since I went to an ASOS press lunch back in 2007 and they announced to us that they sell something like 85 000 dresses day, I have had this nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach every time I see or hear them get mentioned in the press. ASOS NEED TO BE REINED IN. They seem to be collecting designer brands like a fat kid collects Mars bars. Despite their amazing success, something about their website just turns me off. Maybe it's the poorly-styled models posing like a bunch of extras in a soft-core porno, maybe it's the fine print that whispers "get harem pants in the style of Lady Gaga". Or maybe it's just ridiculous stuff like this shoe being described as "sporty platform sandals". How are 5 inch high stripper platform heels deemed to be sporty?

When ASOS starts peddling Balmain on their website - that will be the day I shed a tear because clearly NO ONE HAD SUCCESSFULLY REINED THEM IN.

3 Playsuits still equals B L E A K

2009-06-08T13:22:00.000-07:00

The three playsuits I have bought over the past weekend have failed to bring me any joy. For some reason this Monday has been even bleaker than usual.

Playsuit count: 3
Mood: GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD

(1) Topshop navy strapless floral print
(2) Topshop white rose print
(3) Uniqlo / Shipley & Hamos collaboration pale grey silk with zipper

I still believe that material goods and cold hard cash buys happiness. Mwahahaha.

Retro Meltdown

2009-06-07T18:20:00.000-07:00

Decided to actually rise before noon today and do something productive. Inspired idea. Headed to the North London Vintage Fashion Fair in Primrose Hill with a friend in tow. As we walked up to the fair, I suddenly felt like Haley Joel Osmont from the Sixth Sense. Am I Bruce Willis? Do I see dead people??? No it was just 2 women who had taken the retro/vintage much to far. What a relief.

Things didn't get much better when we went inside and followed the scent of mothballs and the musk of aged fabrics. I want to make note that I LOVE vintage clothing but the clothing on display here belonged in a nursing home, not on anyone below the age of 88. Hmm. I thought perhaps I could make a Victorian collar floor length green gown work but then I saw my reflection and actually recoiled.

Went to a few charity shops on the way home and managed to get an adorable floral skirt for £8 at Traid Camden. Unfortunately my hair still smells like mothballs. Eugh.