Jumpsuits: Stop looking at my camel toe please

There is something about a romper/playsuit/jumpsuit that I cannot resist. It makes going to the washroom take three times as long, it's difficult to find a flattering one (which never stops me) and put the wrong romper on and you look like an overgrown woman who's stuck in second grade. Add pigtails and your humiliation is complete. Even knowing all of this I still covet the following:

Marc by Marc Jacobs Dashiki stripe jumpsuit

How delightful! How obnoxious is this print! I love it.

Stella McCartney Cashmere + Silk Blend jumpsuit

Oh how luxurious. I would wear this everywhere LITERALLY.

Elizabeth & James Suzette Silk-Jersey playsuit

This one reminds me of Bianca Jagger. Sigh.

A.P.C. Cotton and Linen jumpsuit

Too adorable. I challenge anyone to tell me this isn't both versatile and CUTE AS HELL.

Miss Selfridge Dotty Knot jumpsuit

A less expensive option but you still get the same effect. JUMPSUIT FRENZY

Miss Selfridge Hawaiian Jumpsuit

Some would call this a jumpsuit that causes epileptic fits. I call it Muffy's lunch buffet outfit.

Urban Outfitters Pins and Needles Piped Sailor Romper

This is a ridiculous sailor outfit/romper. Who would sail the high seas in a onesie? I probably would. THIS IS PERFECT.

Topshop Parrot Print Playsuit

Hot date? I probably wouldn't recommend wearing this.

American Apparel chambray jumpsuit

I've tried this on twice and it doesn't look revolting on me. HONEST!