Poison ivy head

As soon as I crossed the Atlantic and landed on the west coast again my face went nuts. It was an inflamed poison ivy bush of itchiness and red cheeks. My old moisturizers seemed to make it worse. Trawling the streets of Vancouver, I first bought Avene cream for sensitive skin (which BURNED) and then Dermalogica Intensive Moisture Balance (not thick enough is my shrill response to the sales associate). 

Desperate for relief, I finally smeared my entire face with Aquaphor ointment which is almost just like Vaseline. Check out that tub. It looks like the cream cows put on their udders for relief. That was the only thing that helped but using Vaseline as a night cream really can't end well. What's next? Lard as facial mask? Shoe polish as eyeshadow? 

Only this cream saved me. L'Occitane Ultra Rich Face Cream with Shea Butter. It's part of the sensitive/soothing skin line. The lady at the shop said it was like smearing shea body butter onto my face and she wouldn't recommend it. It is so thick it was almost solid. WELL SHE WAS WRONG.